I started this blog a hell of a long time ago hoping to achieve things that a lot of people including myself would see as being quite simple things. It's not as if my list had things such like "climb Mount Everest in an 8 hours and 9 minutes (the fastest time it has been climbed in supposed to be 8 hours and 10 minutes. Or "swim across the Atlantic" (I can't even swim) or get a pet spider (I HATE spiders). Or get a girlfriend (nobody remotely decent likes me and with good reason too).
These are things that are pretty much impossible things for me to do. To accomplish.
The whole point of The List was simply to make my life better. Make me happy. Why do I find it so hard to make myself happy? Why did I do this list 15 months ago in a DESPERATE attempt to feel like I needed some meaning in life and then when it comes down to actually doing things to make my life better. I don't seem to want to? Do I want to be sad forever?? Fuck knows, maybe I do. Either I will make some changes or I will keep working at it and finding new ways to fuck myself over.
