Number 29

I woke up this morning today thinking 2 things. One of them was how I seem to always let people get me down. As in disappoint me. I remember a few years ago when I girl who I was crazy about told me "that's what happens when you put me up on a pedestal, I am bound to disappoint you." At the time, I was like, "I don't do that." But I think subconsioucly I did and in someways I still do.

I do believe that you should treat people how you want to be treated, but sometimes, when you aren't being treated the way you think you should deserve being treated, it can kind of put a downer on how you see things.

Anyway, my mobile phone is being really weird as anytime someone texts me, I get the same message over the next few days about 10 times. So, I am thinking I might get a new mobile phone soon and when I do, use it as an excuse to text poeple my new number and make the effort with them, however, just storing people on my new phone who I think should deserve to go on it. I'm not going to have room for people I hardly ever speak to, that I haven't seen for ages or any exes. No point at all.

I was looking through my phone the other day thinking "why have I still got their number" to about 30 people in my phonebook. Doing number 29 on my list would mean I would have to talk to them when I probably really don't want to and am wondering why on earth did I bother with certain of these people in the first place??

So when I do number 29, I will be not putting half of these people in my new phone when I eventually get it and therefore be making an effort with only the people I want to make an effort with.

Number 8-Find a new job

Ok, the manager for that job phoned me a few days ago and asked me if I actually wanted it and I originally said no because of the zero hour contract and the fact that I can't cook. She then told me that she would give me a 40 hour contract and not to worry about the cooking thing as someone will be there with me so I decided to accept the job. Going to see how it goes as if it goes well, I can start to do a lot more things on my list. This could be a great start.

Number 27

Learning 30 new songs on my guitar is not as easy as I thought it was going to be. I don't just want to learn the guitar, I want to learn the lyrics too. I want to learn the whole song and then post all 30 of them on you tube. I am currently working on doing that and have learnt 4. To find out wchich ones, stay posted and I will eventually put a link on fowarding it to my videos. So far, I have learnt 3.

Step 1. A job interview

I had a job interview yesterday and going back to what I said before, I don't want to do things off the list just for the sake of it and although I really need a job, I'm not sure if I should take this one if I get offered it.

It's a night reception job at a hotel. 11pm-7am. Just above minimum wage, no extra money for ruining my social life or a whole change in sleep patterns. When I had the interview, one of the first questions the manager asked me was "can you cook?" My reply was "I thought it was a job for a night reception position. If I could cook, I would be a chef". She said it was a job requirement as was working the bar and cleaning too. Rather then "night receptionist" I wondered why the position wasn't titled "multifunctional dogsbody"

Now a job is a job. But it's a zero hour contract but a "guranteed" 40 hours a week. But of course I won't get sick pay or holiday pay. I think I will probably get offered it when she rings me in 3 days time. Though as of yet I am not sure if I am going to take it or not.

I hate my job, I hate my life, I hate myself. THE LIST.

The title says it all. I have been thinking about this for a long long time and have never really done anything to make things better for myself. I, like most other people, just plod along with the days just passing me by. I turned 29 just about 3 months ago.

So I decided to do a list of how to improve my life. They don't necessarily have to be big things. Some things that I really want to do, some things that I really need to do along with some things that I should've done a long time ago. Some of the things might seem really trivial but they are not. Also, a lot of the things are connected, i.e. I won't be able to do numbers 2, 13 14 and 15 if I don't do number 8. But that is one of the points to it. It is like a step by step process of things I can do to achieve the next thing. Or number 11 if I don't do number 6. Some might think, a few things can be done the next day i.e. Number 3. But I don't just wanna make rash desicions for the sake of doing the list. I purposely put number 13 and 14 in as a reward for myself for doing the list and again, I might not be able to do these if I don't do number 10. Here is the list:-

1. Pay at least £1500 of my debt off
2. Start to take driving lessons again
3. Get a tattoo
4. Write 5 amazing finished songs
5. Play somewhere live and play more often
6. Renew my passport
7. Register with a dentist
8. Find a better job
9. Sit up straight, no slouching
10. Don't lose too much of my income to gambling
11. Go abroad
12. Get a webcam and post some songs on You Tube
13. Buy a new guitar
14. Buy a Citizen Eco-drive watch
15. At least look to finally moving out
16. Get my violin fixed and start to learn it
17. Start a new story
18. Plant a tree-preferably a Maple tree
19. Start a savings account
20. Not being fazed when people shout abuse to me on the streets
21. Get some recordings of my own songs done
22. Go to watch Manchester United at Old Trafford
23. Start voluntary work for the NSPCC
24. Start to go to more gigs/concerts again
25. Sell something on Ebay
26. Learn to make an amazing Masala Dhosa (Indian dish)
27. Learn 30 new songs on my guitar
28. Get some written word published
29. Make an effort with every single person in my phonebook
30. Learn 5 monologues

I will be writing on here as much as I can and hopefully be updating my list throughout until 9th March 2012 when I reach 30. The 275 days start today.